


Café Kielo

by Manter



Category: Iron Fist (TV)
Genre: And now something completely different, Angst, Coffee, Drinking & Talking, Drug Abuse, F/M, Fire, Hangover, I Don't Even Know, Kidnapping, Regret, Swearing, This just keeps getting longer, Ward Meachum feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-10-20 01:08:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10651821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manter/pseuds/Manter
Summary: Ward has few thing in his life that bring him joy. This is a story about one of those things....I probably don't know what I'm doing since this is the first time I write in English. Please be gentle.





	1. Chapter 1

He pushed himself through the doors of the little cafe, and I could see the three other patrons glance nonchalantly in his direction, and then avert their eyes back to whatever device they were holding in their hands.

I always imagined that the hinges of the glass window door forced themselves to open in front of him, as they yielded at the sight of a superior power. Even if Ward Meachum was something people called a prestigious character, his arrogant posture and no-nonsense demeanor prevented anyone from staring or whispering in his presence. And this was New York, so no one probably cared anyway. Despite his slightly daunting composition, I was always pleased to see him. He was polite and liked to talk while waiting for his coffee. Our brief exchange usually consisted of lamenting on how neither of us ever saw the weather outside except through a window, due to our crazy working hours.

I saw him glance, brows furrowing, towards the two customers I was currently serving by the counter. He'd happened to enter at the peak of our "rush hour".  He lifted the expensive cuff of his light gray suit with his index finger and glimpsed at his watch. He'd been used to coming in, getting his coffee (black, no sugar) and leaving. It was doubtless the only reason he came here. No need to waste time waiting. Well, today was not his lucky day.

\---

Ward drew a deep breath and settled to wait at the end of the line. He'd started coming here because the cafe was always open (well, almost always), and there was hardly ever anyone there. The fact that it was also close to his apartment didn't hurt. The professional part of his brain often wondered how a business this small could possibly be profitable, but the cafe had already stood there for at least two years. Maybe the overhead was really low.

Ward had found this tiny establishment after the reconstruction following the "incident" when the small businesses along the street reopened. However, not all of them could've been opened again. Some had changed owners and new businesses emerged, since without proper insurance, several had had to face a closure. Café Kielo had been one of the new arrivals.

There was nothing fancy about the cafe. Coffee was ok, but the assortment was limited. There was a selection of savory items; sandwiches, croissants and such, and a set of colorful pastry. And ice cream. A surprisingly large selection of different flavors for such a small space. The interior was all white; the tables, chairs, counters, floors and walls. Light green curtains and small tablecloths brought a splash of color to the scene and Ward knew that the owner changed the color of these highlights following different seasons. Red at Christmas, yellow in Easter, red/white/blue at 4th of July, although the light green was the predominant color. Ward found the interior refreshing and the hue of the green reminded him of the first leaves of spring when life was just about to start again with a new cycle. If only he could do the same.

He was already late for a meeting but felt he needed his "humanity fix" this morning. He knew his day was going to be full of corporate meetings, ruthless businessmen and -women heads filled with profit, market value, mergers, acquisitions, and lobbying. In anticipation of all that, he wanted to start his day with a friendly face that had no strings or expectations attached. There was nothing exceptional about the face he secretly considered his one breath of pure humanity. He wouldn't have glanced it twice if it had crossed him in the streets, hell, if he was honest, he wouldn't have glanced it even once. However, as he'd come to notice, the face came with the most genuine and warm smile he'd seen in a long time (not since his mother was still alive), a dimpled smile that radiated warmth through eyes that seemed to look straight inside you, not just at whatever face-suit he'd happened to put on that day.

Ward was anything but naive and didn't think that that specific smile was targeted for him alone. In fact, he saw the opposite to be proven right at that very minute with the other customers. However, he had a weird feeling in his stomach he didn't recognize whenever he was about to talk to the person in question. It wasn't unpleasant per se, it just made him a bit uneasy. Not enough to stop him from coming here though. After all, this was the nearest and most convenient place to get one's coffee from.

\---

"And how is it, out there in the real world?" I inquired as I prepared his morning coffee.  
He looked down at his hands and smirked. "Maybe we should ask that from the normal people since I didn't seem to notice." His hazel eyes lifted to meet mine, still smirking. I swear if I wouldn't have been aware of the realities of life, sometimes I might have imagined he was flirting with me. Or attempting to. But then I remembered who he was, and who I was, and was zapped back to the world of reason.

I had to chuckle. "I don't think normal applies to New York." I nodded my head imperceptibly towards a patron in table 2, an extremely tall and thin man in a dark red velvet suit, completed with a spotted bow tie. His scalp shone almost brighter than the white tabletops. He was talking quietly to his watch, which might even have been a perfectly normal thing to do these days, with all the cool new gadgets around. I wouldn't know since I barely had enough money for bare necessities.

"You may have a point," Ward Meachum muttered, suddenly serious. But he said it more to himself than to me, as I watched him slide his credit card back to his wallet with long, agile fingers. For a moment I wondered if I'd said something offensive, but then he grabbed the coffee, thanked me with one of his rare, brilliant smiles and left, leaving me to admire his ridiculously straight posture and the world owners attitude that he exuded in his wake. But for a tiny moment there, I thought I'd seen a crack in his perfect demeanor, something that had made him seem somehow more relatable and less like a perfect business shark. I wondered how different his life must be compared to mine. I probably couldn't even begin to imagine.


	2. Chapter 2

I was scrubbing the tables clean the next time Ward Meachum came in. The downside of the all-white decor was that it required constant cleaning, but I didn't mind the extra work since it was something to keep my hands busy with. Jeff was at the counter, scooping ice cream into huge balls for a couple of kids. Their mother watched in quiet disbelief as he shuffled the colorful orbs on top of small waffle cones. I could see that she fully expected things to end up in a disaster as soon as the children had the cones in their hands. The size of our ice cream balls was something we were somewhat famous for, at least in our neighborhood.

For the first time ever, Mr. Meachum headed towards one of the small round tables near the window. I drew out my worn-out notebook from the apron (light green, same color as the curtains and table cloths) pocket and headed towards him, wondering if he was planning on meeting someone. Perhaps there was someone in his life he wanted to keep secret from all the paparazzi (I'd seen plenty of pictures of him and his ever changing, always gorgeous arm candy attending high society events), and thought our café was inconspicuous enough for a secret rendezvous. That would be interesting. But when I greeted him and inquired if he wanted to wait before ordering, he declined.

”The usual then?” 

He nodded and then looked at me, contemplating.

”You really are always here, aren't you? Is this normal in your line of work?” I stared at him, puzzled. In my line of work? I could feel a bit of a naughty impulse surfacing in the back of my mind. The fidgety mother was herding her children out the door, obviously determined not to let the ice cream hazard happen inside.

”What I mean is, is your manager treating you ok? Do you even get sick days?” He was lowering his voice as he threw a side glance at Jeff. I had to wonder what on earth had caused this sudden awakening of social consciousness and attention to my well-being. Could it be that the return of his ”presumed dead” childhood friend had rattled his awareness of how ordinary people lived their lives? Yes, of course I'd read everything there was to read about the Meachum family, since not THAT many prominent figures visited our café on regular basis.

He was still looking at me, apparently a bit unnerved by my lack of response.

”I'm ok. Thanks. And actually, the manager happens to be here right now, just a second!” And off I went in search of my boss, at the same time thinking that this whim of mine might not be the most sensible thing to do right now.  
I called Mr. Meachum's order out to Jeff and disappeared into the back room.

\---

Ward felt a prickling irritation rise as he sat there, speechless. He did not need to see the manager, neither had he asked to. He had enough problems on his own, and he didn't need to take on the problems of a coffee shop waiter. Even with the amazing smile. He tightened his lips and sucked some air between his teeth. He should have taken the coffee to go just like always, and not sit here to be preyed upon, however much he wanted to show his father that he could. Ward considered leaving (preferably as soon as possible) when he heard someone clearing their throat behind him. 

”Lumi Miller, the owner, and the manager. Nice to meet you. I believe you asked to see me? Something about the working hours of our employees?”

The coffee cup (black, no sugar) appeared in front of him, hot and steaming, and then an outstretched hand waiting for a handshake. The hand belonged to the waiter that had just left, only now sans the apron. Ward could see a mischevious sparkle in the soulful pair of eyes that quite obviously challenged him to play along. He couldn't help but feel a one-sided grin starting to form. Although, he had to scold himself for his archaic preconception of the man sitting at the cashier being the manager. Wasn't his own sister the most business savvy person (excluding his father) he knew? While at the same time he himself, who everyone considered the financial genius of the decade, was a fraud and a mere puppet? Who was he to have any prejudice against anything? It occurred to him that he did not have his pills with him.

He coerced the emerging murky thoughts, which kept constantly coaxing and whispering and trying to rob him of anything good and pure, into the cellar of his mind.

He rose, put on the 'business casual Ward' -face, shook hands, introduced himself (Ward Meachum, but please do call me Ward) and gestured towards the seat in front of him. He was delighted to notice that Lumi's grip was firm and confident and yes, he already felt comfortable enough to call her by her first name. At least in his mind.

”Please, have a seat, Ms. Miller. Yes, I was worried that you might overwork your employees, but now I see I might have misjudged the situation here.”

He watched as she perched herself on the edge of the seat, as if ready to dash off at any time, and tensely crossed her fingers over the table. She continued to stare at him, evidently amused. Ward was intrigued by the new information but at the same time felt a bit worried that the confusion had made him seem shallow. But would he have really wanted her to sit at this table if she hadn't been the owner? He had come here today to have a temporary respite from all the craziness of the outside world, not to make friends. Then again, was the peace and quiet really the only reason why he had wanted, for the first time, to sit down and spend some time here?

”Ms. Miller, I... I somehow made myself believe that he was the manager,” Ward nodded towards the gray-haired man sitting at the counter. ”I apologize.”

”Please call me Lumi. And there's no need to apologize. Jeff here is a lifesaver. He is retired, but helps here a few hours a day, and on those rare occasions when I absolutely cannot work.” She noticed Jeff hearing his name mentioned and shouted at him ”I just told him you are a sweetheart and I couldn't do this without you!”

Jeff blushed lightly, grunted and swayed his hand dismissively, but did it all with a smirk on his wrinkled face. Ward was a bit surprised to notice that he was actually touched by the warmheartedness of the exchange. He was more used to the matter-of-fact and clinical conversations that went on in the corporate life. He tried to think of something witty to say. His mind was buzzing and unable to form a coherent sentence.

”So... your name. It's very unusual. Is there a story to it?”

Lumi leaned back in her chair, obviously more relaxed. Her name was Finnish and meant quite simply 'snow'. Her Finnish mother and American father had met in Finland (he had been an expatriate and had had a contract to work there for 2 years) and fell in love. They had married, Lumi was born and they had lived happily (more or less) for a few years until the marriage had fallen apart and her father had moved back to the United States. She had decided to follow her father when she was 25. Lumi had worked at her father's IT company as a secretary and acquired a citizenship. She had never been very fond of her job, but it had paid the bills. A few years ago her father had died and left her enough capital to buy the property for the café (he had sold the company as soon as he had found out about the illness) and get started on her dream.

Ward felt a little breathless and light-headed. She had followed her dreams. She was living the dream. She had managed to do what must have seemed impossible at some point. Ward started to hope that maybe, someday, he might have a chance too.  
Ward's phone beeped for attention. 'Stein, Frank N.' pulsated on the screen. The light-headedness vanished as if it had never been and was replaced with resignation.

\---

I felt a little out of breath after disclosing my personal history so openly. I hadn't been planning to, but I had been a bit nervous and the words had just kept coming. It was too much information given to a practical stranger, as I came to notice when Ward's phone rang, and he couldn't have grabbed it faster. Good job Lumi, good job.

Wards lips were in a tight line and his demeanor shifted back to the unreadable, businesslike behavior. He started to get up. I felt I had to apologize for something.

”I'm sorry for tricking you earlier... and for the info dump.”

”It's perfectly fine, I really needed the distraction,” he muttered like it was hard for him to talk, but I knew he was obviously just beeing very polite. He started to dig out his wallet from the inside pocket of his perfectly tailored suit when I stopped him.

”This one is on the house since you had to sit there and listen to my life story.”

He froze for a moment, then looked at me with a sad smile. I was furious with myself for inflicting this kind of feeling to a customer with my stupid stories. I wished I had kept my mouth shut.

”I need to do that more often then,” he replied, the perfect gentleman.

”Please do, ” I murmured as I watched his ramrod straight back disappear into the crowded street, wishing this would not be the last time I saw him.


	3. Chapter 3

Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that I'd spend the next night with Ward Meachum. He came in as I was about to close, jacket thrown to his shoulder, tie loosened, eyes gleaming like he had just won some kind of race. I could smell a trace of alcohol when he ordered his coffee. 

”A good day?” I inquired as I filtered his coffee (to go). I was trying to act casual but was a bit nervous about our previous conversation.

”I hope so,” he exhaled, clearly amused.

Our phones beeped at the same time. We both dug out our cells and frowned at the system alert pushed to our phones.

”EMERGENCY ALERT: EXTREME  
Category: Safety  
Response type: Go indoors immediately and remain inside. DO NOT DRIVE. Call 9-1-1 for emergencies only.  
Severity: Extreme  
Urgency: Take action immediately  
Certainty: Observed  
Emergency alert in this area until 6:00 AM GTM Take Shelter Now”

I looked at him, alarmed. His jawline clenched as we stared at each other in silence. Then I remembered that Hood was outside. He had no shelter from whatever it was that was threatening us. I gulped, grabbed a dishrag from the sink and drenched it in water. It had to suffice as a makeshift breathing mask. Then I headed for the door. 

”What are you doing?” Ward snapped as he was trying to step in front of me.

”Hood's out. I need the get him inside.”

”You can't go out there! Didn't you read the message?”

”He needs to get in. He has no shelter!”

I pushed him out of my way, lifted the wet rag to my face and ran out. As I turned left from the door and past the small flower shop, the sound of the general alarm oscillated in the air. I saw a few people running, disappearing into doorways. I hurried left around the corner and into an alleyway. This is where I brought all leftover sandwiches after closing. I didn't know Hood's real name, but he always wore the hood of his large gray hoodie over his head, hence the imaginative nickname. We had an unspoken deal: I brought him the sandwiches (which I would have thrown away anyway) and he did not pester the customers in front of my cafe.

I could see his cardboard and tarp shelter wedged between two dumpsters.

”Hey, you need to come with me. There's something dangerous happening. Can't you hear the sirens?” The makeshift shelter swayed erratically. 

”I'm good right here,” he groaned.

”You should listen to the lady,” a disgruntled voice said behind me. Ward had followed me. He'd put on his suit jacket and was pressing his burgundy pocket square to his face. I turned back towards the huddling figure.

”I'm not leaving until you come with me.”

I hoped he wouldn't call my bluff and decide to stay. I could practically hear Ward rolling his eyes at me. The tarp rustled as Hood crawled out. He followed us, hunching two steps behind us, back towards the safe haven of the cafe.

\---

There was something mesmerizing about the way Lumi took care of the homeless man she called Hood. After she locked the doors she carried a couple of water bottles to his table followed by some sandwiches. She also brought Hood a warm blanket and placed it on his shoulders. In this small, closed space his pungent smell started to emanate, but she didn't seem to be bothered by it. And apparently, she wasn't worried about the fact that she was now locked in with two strange men.

Ward watched as she pushed a button under the counter to lower the metallic security gates over the door and the windows. He could feel his insides tighten, realizing that he was now in a locked, confined space and he wasn't the one with the keys. He reached into his pockets and was relieved to feel the familiar shape of his muscle relaxants.

He toyed with the idea of asking Lumi to open the locks and then heading home. Who knew, maybe there even was no danger, but the government just wanted everyone off the streets, for some obscure reason. Tomorrow there would be news about yet another mysterious 'gas leak', and everyone would continue their lives unhurt.

Ward realized Lumi was asking him something. Something about turning off the air conditioner. He was about to answer when everything went black. The air conditioning machine died leaving everyone into a dense silence. Well, that answered that question. He became horrifyingly aware of the fact that the security gates could probably be reopened only after the power came back.

This was going to be a long night.

\---

The cold, hard lights from our mobile phones swept the room creating odd angles and transforming the room into an alien landscape. The beam of light from Wards phone froze to the floor, trembling slightly. He was digging something out of his pocket with his other hand. Whatever he dug out, rattled a little in his hands, and then he strained his neck, swallowing something dry. 

I noticed the takeaway coffee cup he had left on one of the tables.

”I was about to offer you a fresh cup of coffee, but I guess that's out of the question now.”

”Honestly, I was hoping for something a bit stronger than that.”

Ward looked oddly pale and sweaty in the harsh light. The trembling had ceased but he squeezed his phone like it was a lifeline.

”I'll see what I can find, but in the meantime, there's an all-you-can-eat ice cream buffet available for both of you. That stuff is not going to stay frozen long without the power. That's at least three days worth of ice cream going to waste.”

I was calculating to myself how much this power outage was going to cost me. There was more ice cream in the stand-in freezer, wich would keep cool overnight if no-one opened the door. Next month would be tough, with the additional tax payments and all.

”Ward, if you're hungry, help yourself with anything on the counter. I'll be right back.”

The stairs to the upstairs apartment were hidden behind a little kitchen area. They were steep and narrow, just like the whole flat. There was a small storage area on the right and the living quarters on the left. It was one room consisting of small kitchenette, a bed, a tiny table against the window wall with one lonely chair and a cabinet for my personal belongings. It was tiny but just enough for one person. At least the view was towards the street, not the alley.

I found the unopened whisky bottle tucked away under my kitchen sink, and the candles and a thin mattress from the storage room.

Ward was texting when I returned. His thumbs flew on the surface of the phone. He looked annoyed.

”Here, I have no idea if this is good or not, a customer gave it to me a few years ago as a Christmas present.”

The bottle had a red cap imitating a melting wax seal and a label stating it as Maker's Mark. Ward seemed contented to have it.

”Also, I put a mattress in the back room in case you want to sleep,” I told Hood. He'd just finished his sandwiches and was on his second bottle of water. He nodded and got up. I gave him a lit candle and he disappeared into the back room.

”He might steal something or start a fire,” Ward stated with a lowered voice as he slumped into the chair nearest the counter. He had the bottle opened and placed it on the table, next to the candle I'd just lit. I took out a couple of classes from the counter and he poured the honey-colored liquid into them.

”Where would he go with the loot? And he is an adult human being, not an imbecile. He knows how to blow out a candle. I hope... Maybe we should check in a while, just in case.”

”Did you have plans on where we are sleeping tonight? If this thing doesn't end soon? Do you have more of those mattresses?” He was obviously trying to hide his disgust over the idea.

”My apartment is upstairs, you can sleep in my bed while I supervise your beauty sleep, ” I stated matter-of-factly. He rotated the bourbon in his class, contemplating its complexity and tannin. Or maybe that was what you did with wines. I wouldn't know.

”How about this. You sleep in your own bed tonight and I look after the shop down here. I don't sleep much anyway.”

”But I don't...”

”I insist.”

What I was about to say was that I highly doubted I could sleep with these two men here, in my space. But I decided to leave it at that. If Ward wanted to play the white knight, I'd let him. Even if it meant that neither of us was getting any sleep tonight.

 


	4. Chapter 4

The whisky was better than Ward had expected, although there was nothing special about it. A few candles scattered across the tables created a soft hue over everything. The room had obviously decided to borrow the color-scheme from his drink. Ward thought about the quiet, peaceful evenings he'd used to spent at Joy's, staring at the blazing fireplace in her study, absentmindedly reading whatever publications he'd happened to find there. Even if those days were long gone, the colors reminded him of the few places he'd been able to feel safe. And just to be... himself.

Lumi was treating the whisky glass like it contained toxic waste. She held the class between her thumb and middle finger as if trying not to pollute herself with the liquid. She brought it under her nose and firmly closed her eyes as her mouth pressed into a hard line. Then she took a deep breath, lifted the glass to her lips and took a sip. She swallowed with great effort and shuddered afterward.

”That good huh?”

She wasn't able to answer since evidently, she was trying to keep the drink from coming back up.

”You don't have to...”

Lumi lifted her palm to stop Ward from continuing. She took a couple of long breaths and straightened herself, wincing.

”Please don't insult my Finnish heritage by implying I cannot drink this. I can and I will. This is a question of honor. You should know we take our drinking very seriously.”

”You can just pour it down the drain.”

”And waste perfectly good booze? Sacrilege!” She feigned devastation.

She took another sip, shuddering and grimacing all over again.

”Now this... this builds character.” She squinted one eye as she brought the glass again to her lips.

”I take it you don't drink that often?”

”I haven't had much opportunity lately. And I've never liked hard liquor much.”

”Then why drink at all?”

Lumi pondered this for a minute. She lifted her index finger.

”First, it's impolite not to drink in company.” She added the middle finger next to the index finger.

”Second, I'm trying to seem more sophisticated than I really am, indulging in whisky. How am I doing with that, by the way?” She asked as she frowned, grimaced and quivered, trying to engulf the drink.

”Amazing. Very sophisticated.”

”Third... The third one will come to me eventually. I'll let you know when that happens.”

Against all odds, Ward found that he was starting to enjoy himself.

\---

Whisky was just plain awful. It burned going down and left a horrible aftertaste. I couldn't stop the shivers. Ward watched my efforts, a grin widening on his face with every gulp I took. What I didn't tell him was that I needed the encouragement. This was Ward Meachum, the billionaire, every women's magazines top eligible bachelor, the business genius of the decade. Sitting alone with me, in the middle of the night, in candlelight. Ward. Meachum. Let that sink in. I felt a bit out of my league. Or more likely completely out of the ballpark.

Ward glanced at the security gates, brows furrowing.

”Are we locked in until the power comes back?”

His face relaxed considerably after I told him that there was a crank handle, which would open the security gates manually, although it required quite much force and I had never tried to do it myself. Plus I had no idea where the crane was. But that was a fact I kept to myself. His posture had softened a bit when he'd heard there was a way out. I didn't want to worry him any more than necessary. But there might be other people that were worried about him.

”Is there someone that's concerned about you? I can go upstairs if you need to call someone, so you get some privacy.”

”No, I texted my sister and told her I was ok.”

Ward played with his phone while telling me this. His long fingers caged the edges of the phone and made it spin. So he didn't have to call a significant other. Maybe he was in-between relationships.

”She told me that this 'emergency' is a local phenomenon, her block was not affected.”

Ward sneered and looked at the ceiling.

”She was pissed when she heard I probably won't make it to the Stanton Island meeting. Luckily she is perfectly capable of handling it herself.”

I nodded like I knew what he was talking about. Two shrewd businesspeople talking here.

He drained his glass in one gulp and poured more. I still had at least half of my drink left. I could feel the burn in my stomach increase with every sip I took. It was not altogether an unpleasant feeling.

”You two are close?”

I was trying to make conversation like he was a normal person and this was a normal situation. But I didn't feel comfortable enough to look him in the eye, which I usually had no problems with. I guess the situation had become a bit too intimate for that.

”It's been us against the world as long as I remember.”

A black strand of hair tried to coax itself towards his forehead. He combed it back with his hand a few times, then let it be. I was fascinated by how a single strand of loose hair made him look so much more human.

”I don't have brothers or sisters. I wish I had so I could have stolen my brother's candy and blame my sister for it.”

Ward snorted, struggling to keep the liquid inside his mouth.

”That's... strangely specific.”

”You have time to scheme when you're an only child. I might have imagined a few siblings. Drove my parents crazy.”

”How's that?” He had his fist hold against his mouth as he cleared his throat.

”They never knew which one was coming to dinner, and where to set the extra plate. There was a precise order on where everyone was supposed to sit.”

”Sounds like a happy childhood.”

There was a strange longing in his voice. He was again playing with his whisky glass. Of course. His mother had died when he was a child. And then his father when he was on the verge of adulthood. I felt a sting of remorse. I hadn't meant to rub his nose on my happy memories. I tried to think of a way to change the subject.

”So... working at a big company like Rand. That must be exciting?”

”It can be, yes.”

”What's the best part of it?”

”Working with Joy.”

”And the worst part?”

”Working with Joy. No no, I'm kidding.”

He had a wide grin on his face. I wished I could have frozen time and just sat there and admire that smile for eternity. Maybe write a couple of sonnets or find a canvas and paint it. And since I couldn't do either of those things in real life, I resorted to emptying my glass instead. With a shudder.

\---

Lumi pushed her empty glass towards the bottle. Ward had somehow gotten the role of the bartender, but he was happy to oblige and poured her a new drink. He felt strangely light as if the outside world didn't exist and there was only this honey-colored, secure space. And the intriguing person sitting opposite him. However, the intriguing person was just now very non-intriguingly fidgeting in her seat.

”I've never noticed how uncomfortable these chairs are. My bum is numb,” she blurted, snickering delightfully. ”Sorry, I speak worse and worse with every sip of that devil's... potion. Soon you'll have to Google Translate me.”

”I think I'm actually looking forward to that.”

Ward had a feeling he'd need a translator of his own soon if they continued to drink at this pace.

Lumi started to blow out all candles except the one on their table.

”Well, I've made a decision. The decision is that we need softer seating arrangements. Grab the bottle and follow me.”

With a lit candle and a whisky glass on her left hand and a couple of sandwiches from the display case on the other, she headed towards the stairs. She turned to face Ward with her index finger on her lips and gestured triumphantly with the sandwiches at the sleeping figure and the blown out candle in the back room.

”See, no fire!”

Ward had to admit that at least Hood could be trusted with candles. Then he had to concentrate on getting up the stairs with only the dim, swaying candlelight lighting the way. His shoulders almost touched the walls and he had to duck once to reach the upstairs apartment. The stairs made him a bit claustrophobic.

”Hold that,” Lumi said as she handed the candle to Ward.

Ward stood there, trying to get a bearing of the proportions of the room. This couldn't be it, could it? There had to be another room behind that only other door in the room.

”What's in there?”

”That's the shower and the toilet.”

Lumi was carrying a small kitchen table next to the single bed. It was only a few steps.

”You can put the candle on this table now. I'm sorry I don't own a coffee table, but this will have to do.”

She started to rummage the kitchen cabinets, found a bag of chips and poured them into a large fruit bowl. While she scurried around Ward had time to look at the interior. There were photos and paintings on every wall. Small and big. Round and square. Paintings of cats and dogs. Group photos and individual faces smiling at whoever had been taking the picture. He couldn't see the faces in the dim light but he figured they were Lumi's relatives and friends. The scenery in the pictures looked Nordic. He felt a tightening in his chest. So many different faces.

A thick carpet filled the floor from wall to wall, but it was hard to figure out the color. It might have been dark red. The bowl of chips, sandwiches, whisky bottle and glasses filled the tiny table to the brim. Lumi gestured towards the bed and Ward sat on the edge, elbows resting on his thighs, cradling his drink in his hands. Lumi took off her shoes, hopped on the other end of the bed and sat cross-legged on the red-striped bed cover.

”So... ” she mused, ”I have a very important question for you. One that will define my perception of you as a person.” The S's were pronounced very carefully. She was obviously trying to sound very professional.

”If you were a worm, how long would you be?”

 


	5. Chapter 5

Ward couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed. Not pretending to be laughing like with business associates, not chuckling or chortling, but Laughing-Out-Loud -laughing. He could hear himself snore in the midst of the laughter and it made him laugh even more. There might also have been a little bit of hysteria involved. The question hadn't been that funny (although it was hilarious and unexpected), but he just didn't seem to be able to stop. The fact that Lumi stared at him, still pretending to be serious and annoyed, didn't help at all. If he even looked in her direction, he started to laugh again. He had to put the glass down on the table to wipe his eyes. When he was finally able to stop, he felt empty, but in a good way. Although nothing had changed in his life, some of the weight on his shoulders had lifted, and he was able to breathe a bit more freely.

He kicked off his shoes (Lumi clearly didn't want shoes on her bed) and backed up, leaned against the wall, still shaking his head and drying the wetness of his cheeks to his palms. He took off his loose necktie and threw it on the table, trying not to hit the candle.

”A worm?”

”Yes, a worm. I'm waiting.”

Lumi's head was slightly tilted to the side, and she observed him like he was an interesting specimen to be studied. Ward cleared his throat.

”Well... I guess I would be... infinite. And eating my own tail.”

”...then when you're done, you would cease to exist?”

”...yes.”

”That's... quite beautiful, actually.”

Ward could see Lumi's expression soften, and might have imagined some moisture gathering to the corners of her eyes. He didn't see the idea as beautiful, but more likely gruesome or morbid. Like his life was.

”What about you?”

”Nonono, this game doesn't work that way. You have to ask your own questions.”

Ward's mind drew a blank. What did he want to know? He didn't feel confident enough ask any deep personal questions. Her business would be a safe enough subject.

”How do you remember what the patrons want when they come here? From what I've noticed, they hardly ever have to ask. You seem to remember what everyone's ”the usual” is.”

”Not at first of course, but I give them nicknames to help me remember. And the ones who come here, are mostly regulars, so it's quite easy.”

”Nicknames?”

”Well there's the 'tower guy', 'dances with brats', 'not-to-be-mistaken-for-that-other-one'... and let's see... oh, yes, 'the other one'.”

Lumi flashed a quick smile. Even though it vanished from her lips, it lingered in her eyes.

”Did I have a nickname?”

”Oooh no. I recognized you the moment you stepped through the doors.”

”But what if you hadn't? What would it have been?”

”I'm not sure I should share that information with you.”

Ward utilized his expertise in negotiation tactics; kept quiet and waited until Lumi caved in.

”Ok, but don't blame me if you don't like it.”

She breathed in, scrutinized him carefully and finally exhaled forcefully.

”Awsome-smile-with-well-filled-suit? There! That's the smile!”

 

\---

 

I wasn't sure how he would take the nickname. The bit about the smile was a fact and I could tell from the trace of lean muscles under his dress shirt that he worked out. Fortunately, I needn't have worried since he smiled his gorgeous smile, raised his glass to me and inhaled the rest of his drink. Then he refilled both of our classes.

”So it's not Arrogant Bastard then,” he replied, digging the medicine bottle out of his pocket, and placing another one of those tiny tablets into his mouth. Were they some kind of supplements? Vitamins? Because you couldn't just eat medicine the way he was doing.

”You have never been arrogant.”

He chuckled, resting his head against the wall.

”How little you know me.”

He turned his head to face me. There was a red tinge surrounding his eyes. He must be so tired. His hair had decided to let itself loose and now framed both sides of his face. He didn't seem to mind anymore. ”Who's turn is it?”

”I believe it's mine.”

And so we went on, asking questions, both silly and serious (Ever sung karaoke? He hadn't, but he sang in the car if there was an appropriately angsty song on the radio. And occasionally in the shower. Music preferences? I liked all things catchy and easy to sing along with. And an occasional larger-than-life ballad. Even if I really didn't have a voice for them. Best food he ever tasted? He had to think hard for this one, but in the end decided it was a hot dog from a football game his father had taken him when he was 11. )

”Did you always want to work there, at Rand?”

Ward strained his neck like he was trying to loosen something heavy from his shoulders. He stared at his glass and lifted it to his lips. And kept it there.

”I don't think I ever had a choice. That's my life. Has been ever since my father died.” He was talking as the rim of the glass rested on his lips. Then he emptied it in one gulp and refilled it.

The buzz in my head created a sense of unsolicited courage. I felt like I knew him. And it was in his best interest to hear my infinite wisdom. People who claimed they had no choice had somehow always irritated me. I did, however, have to formulate my words very carefully, since the nerve endings controlling my lips and tongue had apparently decided to go on vacation.

”Of course you have a choice. You can fight. You can run. Or you can do nothing. If you decide to do nothing, it's still a choice. I on the other hand, usually choose running. I'm very good at running.”

Ward went completely still. Regret flushed through me leaving fear in its wake. Something I'd said had offended him. I hadn't wanted that to happen. I hadn't wanted to hurt him. I panicked and took a huge gulp from my drink. I almost choked on it. I had to put my hand over my mouth to stop it from coming back up again. My throat was on fire and water was streaming from my eyes.

When I could see again, he was rolling yet another tablet from the tiny orange bottle. His hand was shaking. He washed the pill down with a large gulp of whisky. Was he really allowed to do that? I felt alarmed and was about to apologize for what I'd said when he spoke, words a bit blurry and colorless.

”Is this, ” he gestured around the apartment ”is this everything you ever desired?”

I felt my insides clutch together. Was he trying to insult me? Did he want to belittle my accomplishments? But his tone was more tired than malicious and he stared at the ceiling with such abandonment, I hoped I could have had some means to take my words back. That being impossible, I decided to be as truthful as I could.

”No, I never knew what I wanted to do. I'd studied this and that, done all kinds of jobs, but nothing ever felt like something I'd enjoy in a long run. Until I had this opportunity. Now this,” I mimicked his hand movement, ”this feels right. I'm happy when I open the doors in the morning. I'm also exhausted when I lock this place up at night, but it's mine and I can blame no-one else but me for what might happen to it.”

I felt a little out of breath. Why did I, again, had to try to fill the silence with as many words as possible? Fortunately, Ward was acting like a living, breathing person again. He lifted his feet on the bed and rested his elbows on his knees. He rotated the empty glass in his fingers. His voice was still flat though.

”Is something going to happen to it?”

”I hope not. But I have to confess I'm not a very good businesswoman. If I didn't own the property, I'd probably had to close already. As it is, I'm getting by if nothing catastrophic happens.”

”Like a power outage melting all the ice cream?”

”Yeah, something like that.”

 

\---

 

Ward had years of practice in controlling himself. The Shield (as he called it in his mind) had risen over him the instant Lumi had said something that made him angry. No, not angry, furious. But his vast experience told him that it was pointless to retaliate, so he withdrew into himself, put up the imaginary wall and waited for the reaction to pass. It had always been his go-to strategy. It might have hurt him to do so (in more ways than one), but at least he hadn't done anything irreversible to others in his bouts of anger. Somehow, he still felt disappointed in himself afterward.

He couldn't believe someone would be so naive that they believed there was always a choice. Sometimes there just wasn't. But what did you expect from someone who had lived so sheltered life, devoid of any hardships? She had no god damn idea what Wards life was like. No god damn idea.

Ward felt the control coming back bit by bit. But he needed to calm himself completely, so he dug one more tablet out of the pill bottle and rinsed the pill down with whisky. He glanced at Lumi and was startled to see that she stared at him with a worried expression. He didn't need to be questioned about his medication. He was in complete control over it, and barely ever exceeded the doctor's orders.

So he asked the first thing that came to his mind before Lumi could comment on his drugs. While she was talking, he felt slowly getting back in control. He could even relax a little bit again.

The state of her business didn't come as a complete surprise to him. And he thought he knew the reason why.

”You're not doing so well because you are too good a person to be a good businesswoman.”

Lumi leaned back a little. She looked at him incredulously.

”What? No, no I'm not. I'm not a good person. I have horrible thoughts. Mean, petty, envious thoughts. I am trying my best to do good things though. And I hope that's what ultimately matters.”

Finally feeling completely like himself again, although still reeling from the animosity he had briefly felt, he took in a deep breath and briefly closed his eyes.

”You give food away for free. You're taking in strays. What kind of horrible thoughts can you possibly have?”

She fiddled with the bed cover, eyes cast down and spoke with a whisper.

”I was really trying to avoid having to invite Hood up here. I mean I probably couldn't get the stench out for days if he slept here. Not very Good Samaritan of me is it.”

Ward stared. He would have been happy to leave him where he had been, in the alleyway. If that was the extent of her 'evil', what did it make him? He had ordered a man to be sent to a mental hospital, to be beaten, and then pushed him out of a window of a high-rise, for god's sake. Not to mention the questionable things he was doing with the pension fund. Suddenly he had a great difficulty in swallowing. He needed one more pill. Just one. Then he would be okay.

He knew Lumi wouldn't just let it go. But he was too worn out to care. Eyes closed, he waited for the inevitable question.

”Are you alright? Those pills you take? Are you sure you should take them with alcohol?"

Ward felt exhausted. The room was warm, dark and the bed he was sitting on was comfortable. He was so, so tired of all the secrets, the deceit, being constantly on the alert. And she was practically a stranger, what would she care.

”My father uses me as his personal punching bag. I need these for the pain.”

As soon as he'd said the words he knew it had been a mistake. He had been momentarily fooled by the false sense of security. She could start rumors. Rumors that would hurt Rand Enterprises. Or if not rumors about the business, then about his father, or him. He must have been losing his mind talking about his father that carelessly. He turned to her, expecting to meet a horrified expression. Instead, she was staring at the ceiling as if deep in thought.

”Do you think anyone would be interested in purchasing liquid ice cream as breakfast?”

Had she not heard him? Maybe she had been so deep in thought that she hadn't registered what he'd said. Relief washed over him and he gladly played along.

”Maybe if you market it correctly? Give it a nice name?”

”Let's see... liquid ice cream... Lice cream? Pre-digested sorbet? Wet ice? Wice? No?”

Ward had to smile. ”You're terrible at marketing.”

Lumi sighed and flashed a smirk that didn't quite reach her eyes.

”Story of my life.”


	6. Chapter 6

I was suddenly really worried. Ward talked about his father as if he was still alive. And abusing him. Maybe it was the tablets he took? Was he overdosing right now? Hallucinating? What would I do if he suddenly started convulsing and lost consciousness? Would the ambulance even come, with the emergency and all? Maybe he hadn't meant to say what he'd said, and the whole thing just came out wrong. I decided to do what I did best. Avoid any difficult issues, pretend they didn't exist and change the subject. I'm such a coward in emotionally challenging situations.

So I blurted out whatever came to my mind, and he took the bait. I got up, reached out to the table, tossed him the other sandwich, got a couple of water bottles, which were surprisingly cool, from the lukewarm fridge and encouraged him to eat. I assured Ward that the hangover would be less severe if he drank the water and ate something. 

One thing was certain; no more whisky for me. I had to be able to function if something happened to him and at the moment there was way too much alcohol in my system to handle anything remotely serious.

”Is there someone who will get angry when you spend your night like this, with a stranger? Ward asked suddenly, playing with his glass again.I could feel irritation rise inside me. ”If there was, and they were angry that I was in a company of another man in an emergency like this, it wouldn't be a long relationship.”

That seemed to peak Ward's interest. ”How so?”

”What kind of a relationship would it be if they didn't trust me even that much?”

”Like any other out there?”

I had to scoff. ”Really? Well, my mother claims I have too high standards with my relationships. I guess she isn't wrong then.” I was just getting started with this subject since my usual inhibitors had currently been washed down my throat. ”Why does everyone think I have to lower my expectations on my relationships? And why would I have settle for anything less than what makes me happy?”

Ward lifted his hands, palms facing me. ”Hey, I'm just asking. Don't shoot me.”

I stared at my hands and took a deep breath that turned into a yawn. ”I'm sorry. It's not your fault I have issues.”

Ward leaned on the wall again and gazed at the ceiling. ”Welcome to the club.”

”So I gather you've had no luck with relationships?”

”Luck, maybe. Anything lasting, no. Maybe I should find someone from Workaholics Anonymous.” He groaned. ”At least then my significant other would understand how all-consuming work can be.” He looked like he'd wanted to add something but then didn't.

”I'd like to join that club.” As soon as I said it I realized it could be understood in a multitude of ways. Luckily he seemed to take it the way I had actually meant it, and not that I would join it so he could find me there. Of course I hadn't meant that. I must be getting really tired. ”In any case, it wouldn't matter to me, I'd be too busy to attend anyway. Hard to make a good first impression if you're not there.”

”Maybe it would be love at first sight?”

I scoffed.

”You don't believe in love at first sight?”

I burst out laughing. ”No. Well, for the pretty people perhaps, not the rest of us.”

Ward furrowed his brows.”Explain.”

”I mean it might happen to people like you, the beautiful people. Not to me. People like me have to learn to dazzle with our minds. And you can't do that from the distance.”

He looked confused. ”But you're not... I mean you are...”

I interrupted him gently, a huge yawn trying to escape my mouth. ”Stop. I need you to stop right there. I know who I am. It took a long time to accept it, but I think I finally have.” I could see he was still baffled. ”I mean of course it still hurts when you are in a bar and the bartender ignores you in favor of those prettier than you. Or that you never get noticed when you are out with your friends. Not to mention you'll never avoid any speeding tickets by just batting your eyelashes,” I chortled, ”but it's just how it is. What I don't want,” I added in more serious tone, ”is anyone lying to me just to make me feel better.” The yawn finally escaped, and I had difficulties keeping my eyes open.

The silence could have been uncomfortable, but it wasn't. Ward was deep in thought, and I could only think of how much my eyelids weighed. I suddenly flinched awake, about to fall face first into Ward's lap. I just had to lay down for a while.

 

\---

 

”I'll need to rest my head for just a minute. Scoot over.”

Ward moved his legs sideways, along the wall, and Lumi laid down on the edge of the bed, her back towards Ward. She dug the pillow out from under the cover and buried her head on it with a contented sigh. Ward was frozen, trapped between the wall and the figure who apparently had no trouble catching sleep. In the company of a stranger. Who was at that moment sharing her bed.

The candle flickered a few times and then went out. He sat there, in complete darkness. Well, great. He'd had to get up in few hours anyway, so he might as well spend the time reading the latest news from his phone. Except the phone was in the pocket of his jacket and the jacket was now on the floor. On the wrong side of Lumi.

His legs were already growing numb, so he very carefully straightened them. There was just enough room for him to lay back. He could close his eyes for just a few seconds, as he figured out what to do next. It made no difference since he couldn't see anything anyway.

Ward woke up to something tickling his nose. He felt like he'd just closed his eyes a second ago, but he forced his eyes open, only to find out he was staring at Lumi's neck. She was sound asleep and breathing deeply, peacefully. Lumi's skin had a blue hue in the dim moonlight. He could feel the warmth of her skin near his lips. There was a faint scent of apple and vanilla in the air and he was hypnotized by the way the fragile hairs on her neck moved in the rhythm of his own breath. He would only have to move half an inch to feel her smooth skin against his lips, to taste the elegant curve of her neck. His heart drummed faster in his ears. He was suddenly very, very awake.

It had been so long since he had been this close to anyone. The longing to feel someone else's skin touching his own almost hurt. But Lumi trusted him. She slept so soundly because she trusted him not to be an asshole. He closed his eyes and let himself imagine, just for a minute, what it would be like. Then he very carefully backed against the wall and crossed his hands on his chest, so he wouldn't disturb her sleep, not even accidentally.

 

\---

 

It was already light out when I woke up to a terrible headache. I got up very carefully so as not to worsen it and sat on the edge of the bed, wondering if I still had some Tylenol left in the bathroom cabinet. I decided to risk standing up, since this time the nausea was a no-show. Or maybe it was still too early for that. I could hear the hum of the freezer from downstairs. So the power was back, that was at least something. I turned back towards the table to grab my phone when I realized Ward was still there, in my bed. He was curled up, back against the wall, arms crossed as if he had been cold. Or maybe he had wanted to avoid touching me at all cost. He had every right to do so, after all the stupid things that had come out of my mouth last night.

He was breathing in and out in a regular rhythm, mouth a bit open. His face was completely relaxed and framed by messy black strands of hair. His eyelashes cast small shadows on his cheeks. He looked so young, even with the stubble. I felt this was the first time I saw an honest version of him. Not a facade to hide behind or an act he wanted you to believe.

A warmth started to gather in my abdomen. It grew, spread and filled me with a desire to curl up beside him, embrace him and not let anything or anyone hurt him.

Oh no no no, I knew what this was, and I didn't want it, need it or wish it. The last thing I needed now was to have a crush on Ward Meachum. Who I suspected had some serious issues with his medication. I didn't have time for it, nor the energy. And the whole thing would, in any case, end up in nothing but me futilely pining over him from a distance. I needed to push this feeling aside as soon as possible.

I reached for my phone and knocked over the empty (how was that possible?) whisky bottle. When I tried to grab it, I sent both it and a couple of classes tumbling towards the floor. I could hear Ward taking in a deep breath and shuffling on the bed. I snatched my phone and concentrated on checking the time, and the weather, and the headlines of the latest news (the emergency was declared over), just to give myself a little more time before I had to face him. He threw his legs over the edge of the bed and run his hand over his face, from eyes to chin, the stubble rustling under his long fingers. His hazel eyes met mine and he smiled.

A raging, electric wildfire struck my lower abdomen, rushed through my veins and left me breathless. I needed to touch him. I needed to sit on his lap, feel his body pressing against mine, run my fingers through his hair, grabbing it into my fists, forcing his mouth to open so I could invade it with my... I needed to get the hell out of there.

 

\---

 

Ward woke up feeling more refreshed than he'd expected despite the few hours of sleep he'd had. He was surprised he had fallen asleep at all. Lumi was standing there, in front of him, with a funny expression on her face. She turned, rushed to the bathroom, hurled the door shut and immediately turned the tap on. Ward could hear the water splashing, accompanied with muted groans. A bit of nausea then. He hoped it wasn't too serious. He lifted his jacket from the floor, put it on and cursed himself for leaving it like that. It was all wrinkled now. His phone still had some charge left; the screen told him it was 5 AM, and there was an 'Emergency Over' message waiting. Good.

He hummed to himself as he lifted the glasses from the floor with his left hand, grabbed the bottle with a free index finger and strung his tie over his head with his right hand, where it hung loosely around his neck. He could almost reach the kitchen sink, where he placed the bottle and the glasses, from where he was standing. He cleaned up the sandwich wrappers and moved the table under the window.

The bathroom door opened and Lumi came out, strands of hair around her face still wet from the splashed water. She looked around, astonished.

”You cleaned?”

”It was the least I could do after you let me crash here.”

She stood there, opening her mouth as to say something, then closing it again. She swallowed. Maybe the nausea was bothering her again.

”I need to check on Hood,” she blurted and headed towards the stairs. She hadn't even looked at him, which left him inexplicably disgruntled. He hadn't expected anything special, but maybe a 'good morning' or even a 'thank you' would have been nice. He crammed himself through the tiny staircase to downstairs, where Lumi was quietly waking up Hood.

Ward stood under the stairs while she checked all the appliances, lifted the security gates, and gave Hood the last sandwich from the display case as he sauntered towards the doors. She opened the locks and smiled warmly to Hood as she said goodbye to him.

”I'm getting a delivery at 6 o'clock if you want to stay for breakfast?” She called out while carrying the melted ice cream cases to the nearest sink.

Ward wanted nothing more than to have the easygoing, relaxed atmosphere back from last night. Something was clearly different now. Lumi was running about, cleaning and preparing the coffee machine, the ice cream counter, and display cases. He felt out of place and moved about trying to not be in her way. He decided it was better if he left so she could do her morning chores in peace.

It wasn't until he was at the door, about to say goodbye, when Lumi finally stopped bustling about.

”Stay safe,” she said solemnly, squeezing the dishrag, eyes huge as if she was afraid something might happen to him.

Ward left the cafe with a flicker of warmth radiating in his chest. He didn't know exactly what it was, but he decided he didn't want to let it go.

 


	7. Chapter 7

”Lumi, there's a gentleman here to see you!” Jeff hollered while I was taking inventory in the back room. I wiped my dusty hands on my apron, pushed the pen and the notepad into the pocket and emerged from the room hoping I didn't have many cobwebs in my hair.

I missed a heartbeat when I noticed Ward standing there, uncharacteristically in a black coat and blue shirt. I hadn't seen him in a few days. I missed another heartbeat when I noticed the state he was in. His hair was a mess and he clearly hadn't shaved in the morning. His red-rimmed eyes had a lost look in them and his left hand was bandaged. He was breathing fast and lifting his weight from one foot to another and seemed oddly relieved when he saw me. A hollow feeling cramped in my guts when I realized something must be terribly wrong.

I asked Jeff to take care of the shop and gestured Ward to go upstairs. He dragged himself up the stairs, plopped down on the bed and covered his face with his hands.

”What happened?”

”I got fired. And lost all my funds.” He rubbed his palms against his forehead. The bandaged hand looked swollen and bruised. ”I was so close to getting away.” His voice cracked, making him sound desperate.

Bewildered, I dropped down on the bed beside him. ”How could that happen? Don't you own the company?”

The sound he made could have been laughter. Almost. ”The board voted us out. Both of us.”

What on earth could have happened? Did it have something to do with his hand injury? ”Did you hurt your hand because of that?”

He rubbed his temples with his fingers. ”No, that's something else. It doesn't matter.”

I didn't understand what was going on. But something he'd said was bothering me. ”You said you were getting away. Getting away from what?”

”You have no idea what my life is like!” He almost hissed as he glanced at me sharply. His pupils were dilated and he was shivering. ”My life is a joke. A ridiculous joke I wish to god I would be able to wake from.”He shook his head. ” All my energy goes to keeping my shit together, dealing with the company and managing... certain people. I don't own my life. I never have.” His hands were now shaking violently. He tried to dig out the medicine bottle from his pocket, fumbled and dropped it to the floor.

”Fuck!”

”I don't think you should...”

”You don't know shit!”

I leaned back. This was not the Ward I knew. But then I didn't really know him, did I?

He buried his face in his hands. ”I'm sorry, I didn't mean... I'm sorry.”

I felt powerless. I didn't understand what had led him to this condition. Surely it couldn't only be about losing his job. ”Can you tell me about it?"

”I can't! I... can't. I've done things... things that would make you ashamed of me.”

I was sure as the head of Rand Enterprises he'd had plenty of experience in morally gray areas. Maybe he had been fired because of them. Maybe he was now anguishing over the choices he'd once made for the company. ”Do you regret doing them?”

”Regret?” He looked up at me, surprised.

”Yes, regret. Not what your actions have cost you, but what they have cost those people you've wronged. Do you regret that?”

”...Yes.” The answer sounded more like a question than a definitive answer, but I decided to let it go.

”Then you are not the villain here.” I tried to be as convincing as possible. ” It doesn't excuse you from the responsibility of your actions, or make things better for the people you have hurt, but at least it tells you that there is good in you.” I wanted to touch him, but in his state of mind, he might have taken it the wrong way.

He moved sideways, now facing me. ”You are not judging me?”

I sighed since I was no closer to understanding what was going on. ”Look, I don't know what you've done or what led you to do those things. It's not my place to judge.” I shook my head. ”You do need to decide what to do with that regret though. Use it for good or let it nag you for the rest of your life. Up to you.” His eyes were fixated to mine and I could see so much pain and agony in them. My heart felt like it was crumbling to pieces for him.

He lifted his right hand to my cheek and caressed it with his thumb. His touch sent a blaze of pleasure through me and I sat there, frozen, afraid that if I moved, he'd stop. I glanced at his lips; they were apart and he was breathing heavily. He was leaning towards me, his eyes on my lips. For a moment thrill surged through me. I would get to caress those perfect lips, feel the tingle of his stubble against my skin, taste his tongue with my own. Then, reality. 

He was not acting like a person capable of making level-headed decisions. His desire to connect was not about me, but about his own hurt and anguish. I couldn't let him do it. He wasn't doing it for the right reasons.

My hand felt like it weighed a thousand pounds when I lifted it to his shoulder to stop him from coming closer. I swallowed hard and whispered. ”You don't want to do that.”

He held still. ”Why?”

It was difficult to formulate words. I felt I had to force them out. ”You think you want to, because you're hurt, and you need someone, anyone to be close to you. To forget what happened, or what's going to happen.”

He lowered his hand from my face and I immediately missed the feeling of it. His breathing was getting ragged.

There was something in my throat, trying to block the words. ”I just happened to be here. And I can't let you do that to me.”

He had more problems than I was aware of and I wasn't the solution he really wanted or needed. I couldn't even be a temporary relief since that would cost me too much. ”You need help, but I can't give you the kind of help you want.”

He was looking down with a vacant expression. I finally summoned enough courage to place my hand on his cheek and lift his eyes to meet mine. He briefly pressed his face against my palm, skin sweaty and hot, the stubble tickling against my hand. I tried to speak as gently as I could. ”Tell me what I can do?”

His eyes hardened and an indifferent mask descended onto his face. ”Nothing. This was a mistake.”


	8. Chapter 8

The first careful glimmer of morning sun brought out all the tiny crevices and grooves etched into the windshield. The rays that got through comforted Ward with their warmth. He leaned on the headrest and let the sun create intricate patterns and colors inside his eyelids. The thrill of ridding himself of his father had faded and left him with an emptiness he didn't quite understand. Wasn't this what he had always wanted? To finally be his on his own, and not have anyone dictate what he could or couldn't do?

Ward opened his eyes and had to lift his hand in front of his face in order to see anything. He considered putting on his sunglasses but decided against it. It would have felt a bit too much like he was spying on someone. Which he wasn't. He'd just happened to drive this way on his way home, after cleaning all evidence from his father's apartment. He had parked 100 feet away from the cafe, on the opposite side of the road. He sat there, staring at the closed security gates, letting his thoughts fill out with nothing.

Movement stirred him from his slumber. The security gates were rising, glistening in the morning sun. Immediately after that, the door opened and Lumi stepped out. She walked over to the neighboring flower shop, tapped on the window and gestured something to whoever was inside. She went back into the cafe and came out carrying a round folding table, which she set up into the sun. A few minutes later two chairs followed. While she was back inside the cafe, a woman holding a small flower arrangement in her hands came out of the flower shop door. She set the bouquet on the table, arranged the flowers until she was satisfied with how they leaned against each other and sat down, facing the sun.

Lumi came out shortly afterward, carrying a tray with two steaming coffee cups and a plate full of croissants. Ward felt his stomach grumble. When was the last time he ate? He couldn't remember. Food was something he ingested in order to keep functioning, nothing more.

She sat at the table, back against the sun and reached to smell the flowers. The two women started a lively conversation; hands gesturing, smiling widely and leaning on to each other like they shared secrets no one else was supposed to hear. On occasion they seemed to take up more serious matters, faces somber, shoulders slumped, eyes downward. Then a comforting touch or a hug. Like friends could do. Ward felt a twist in his guts. There had always been so much he'd needed to hide, so many secrets he'd had to keep, and no one to share them with. He wondered what it would be like, to have someone he could talk to about anything and everything. He couldn't imagine it.

Ward felt the trembles start again. It wasn't time for another pill yet, but he couldn't risk being debilitated by the lack of medicine in the meeting set by Lawrence. He swallowed one dry. He had a couple of hours to put his act together, for both Joy and the current chairman of the board. He should be on his way home by now.

Ward watched Lumi and her friend under his heavy eyelids. He needed sleep, but he knew it would avoid him like the plague. The images of his father disappearing under the murky water, his expression when he realized what Ward had done, his weight on the tarp when Ward dragged him to the car. The feel of the knife pushing its way through his abdomen. All of it whirled around his head like a mindless kaleidoscope. All of it spiced by simultaneous exhilarated relief and overwhelming guilt.

What had he imagined he'd achieve by going to see Lumi yesterday? Why had he wanted to bring his troubles to her? Troubles that she hadn't asked for, or didn't need. There was nothing she could have done for him. The whole thing had been a huge mistake, letting her see what a clusterfuck his life had become. What he had become. There was no way he wanted to infect her with the sickness that was his life. It was better for both of them to stay away.

He dug out his sunglasses from the glove compartment and started the car. There was enough traffic now so he wouldn't be noticed driving by. The last thing he saw of Lumi was her cradling the coffee cup in her hands, smiling at something the woman opposite her had said. She looked happy. Good. She would stay that way as long as he kept himself out of her life. He would have to find a new place to get his coffee from.

 


	9. Chapter 9

The alarm in my phone howled annoyingly. I usually woke up before it went on, so I groggily lifted my phone from the floor by the bed, disconnected the charger cable and tried to press the screen to make the sound stop. The sound kept going on and on. I stared at the screen, confused, searching for the red circle from where to switch the alarm off. It wasn't there. My eyes felt like I hadn't slept for months, and my throat had a bitter taste in it. I hoped I wasn't getting sick. The sound kept on screaming and I finally woke up enough to notice something else too. A crackling sound, like a fireplace or a campfire. In an instant, I was wide awake. I stood up only to notice smoke creeping up the stairs and a faint red glow gleaming from downstairs.

I stood there, squeezing my phone in my hand, paralyzed, not beeing able to decide what to do first. Find the box that contained my ID's, birth certificates, passports? Call 911? Go check if I can put down the fire myself? I knew where the box was so finally I got my legs working and headed to the cabinet to dig it out. Pressing the box against my side I started my way down. My eyes stung and it was difficult to see ahead and take a breath. The heat radiated from the back room, flames burst through the opening and while I crawled on all fours towards the front door, I wondered what could burn so ferociously. There wasn't supposed to be anything particularly flammable in the back room.

The security gates were down, of course. A moment of despair: what if they didn't work anymore? Laying as low as I could, I reached my hand up and pressed the button. I couldn't hear the mechanism over the fire alarm and the blaze from the back room, but I thought I saw movement in front of the windows. Relieved, I crawled to the front door. With trembling fingers, I unlocked the door and crouched there, in the open doorway, coughing, waiting for the opening between the ground and the gate to get big enough for me to squeeze through. Then there was a huge screeching noise and the gate stopped moving. It was only four inches from the ground.

\---

Ward sprawled on the uncomfortable designer armchair. He stared empty-eyed at the glass wall surrounding his apartment. If he were to really look, he could have seen the city landscape starting to emerge from the light-speckled darkness. His dad wasn't going to give him any orders from under the current, and he had no job to go to. He had a whole day of nothing to look forward to. Joy had left countless of messages concerning their failed excursion to Harold's place, but Ward didn't feel like answering her. He tried to massage an incipient headache away with the fingers of his left hand. He struggled to relax, but as one part of his body obeyed, others started to tense. At the moment his fingers on the right hand were clasped tight around his phone, as the left worked on his temple. It was easy for him to pretend to be relaxed, when in the company of others. It was just another party trick. A show he put on for everyone. But doing it for real? That required more work than he was willing to commit himself to.

He felt the phone buzz in his hand. Maybe it was another news alert, exposing the circumstances of his and Joy's termination, or an article detailing where Rand Enterprises were headed now. He felt a morbid curiosity towards any news regarding his current predicament.

The screen flashed alive under his touch, and he pressed the link without even reading it. A news video started playing with a solemn-faced reporter standing in front of fire trucks and ambulances, red and blue lights swirling in the background. The camera moved slowly to show the buildings on fire. Firefighters were still struggling to get the blazing inferno under control. Ward recognized the security gates, still down in front of one of the stores. He felt the bottom of his stomach drop as his fingers spasmed, trying to hit the sound icon.

”...caught fire just after 4 a.m. and quickly spread to the neighboring stores on both sides. At least 1 person has been reported dead, with 2 hurt. The identity of the deceased is not yet known...”

He was out the door before the reporter had time to finish the sentence.

\---

The air smelled plastic coming through the oxygen mask. I tried to breathe as slowly as I could, holding onto the mask with one hand and wrapping myself inside a blanket with another, in an effort to prevent another one of the violent bouts of coughing. Every breath required effort as the clean air scratched my windpipe on its way. My bare, sooty feet tangled outside the ambulance. The precious box with all my important documents laid on my lap, tucked under the blanket. I sat there, not able to actually feel anything except for a slight bewilderment. Was this really happening to me? I was watching every bit of my earthly possessions go up in flames.

”Are you alright?”

I was about to mutter something vague to whoever was asking when I had to do a double-take. Or maybe it was one long take, involving me forgetting to close my mouth.

”Ward? What are you... doing here?” My voice was hoarse, muffled by the mask, and every word hurt. I had to pause in the middle of the sentence, trying to suppress a cough.

He stood there, chest heaving as he'd just come from a jog. He was dressed in all black, so through my stinging, watery eyes, I could only really see his pale face and hands. He was clenching his mobile in one hand. He stared at me, eyes filled with concern, and repeated more emphatically, ”Are you alright?”

I had to lift the mask away from my face to answer. ”I'm alive?” I didn't know what to say. Obviously, nothing was alright, my home and my business were in flames, it felt like I had to fight for every breath, but there was medically nothing seriously wrong with me. If there was, I would probably already be in the hospital.

I could see the yellow barricade tape surrounding the area and masses of curious and horrified figures behind it. Police officers were ensuring that only authorized personnel got through. ”How did you get inside the tape?”

Ward didn't even bat an eye. ”I said I was your fiancé.”

There was a pregnant pause. All the tension that had built up until that moment screamed for a release. I inhaled, laughter ready to burst out. Only laughter was not an option and instead, I erupted into a fit of uncontrollable coughing. Water streamed from my eyes and my lungs were a bundle of agony. I couldn't make the coughs stop, looking at Ward's face, which was a mixture of incredulity and uncertain amusement. I waved him to wait until I had myself under control again.

”I'm...sorry, but I'm... pretty sure... they know who... you are. And... that's why you... got in.” I was swallowing hard and breathing very lightly to keep the coughs at bay. The shallow breaths made me feel a bit dizzy and I had to steady myself, leaning my head against the cold ambulance wall. ”If any of the reporters heard you, tomorrow's gossip columns will be interesting,” I muttered into the mask, feeling very tired.

Ward didn't seem to be bothered by this. ”Honestly, I don't give a damn.” He was craning his neck, turning his head from side to side as if searching for someone.

I still had some snark left in me. ”Looking for your bride?”

Ward squinted his eyes at me. ”Clever. I'm trying to figure out who could inform me about this situation. And if you can go home.”

My eyesight was starting to get a bit misty again, but it had nothing to do with the physical pain. ”That's my home,” I gestured towards the fiery ruins, discouraged. ”I have nothing left.” The full weight of my own words hit me for the very first time. I. Had. Nothing. I had no idea where to spend the next night, let alone where I was supposed to live from now on. The building was insured, but I was afraid it wouldn't cover all the reconstruction needed for the cafe. I had practically no savings. I could get by a couple of weeks with the money I had in the bank. But only if I found somewhere to stay that was cheaper than a hotel.

There was also something about the fire I couldn't understand. ”Hood's dead,” I stated, as a fact. I couldn't feel anything for him; not sorrow, not guilt, not anything. Maybe I was a terrible person. Or maybe all that was coming later. ”The firemen found his body down the alley. Choked to death on fumes. He was holding a gasoline tank. They think he started the fire.”

Ward stepped closer and stared at me intensely. ”So it wasn't an accident?” Something bothered him about this bit of news. ”Do you think he did it?”

I had no doubt in my mind. ”No.” Why would he have kept all the evidence and destroyed a very reliable food source? Something didn't add up.

\---

Ward felt his heart beat in his ears. It couldn't be. His father hadn't known about Lumi, and besides, he was dead. He had personally dragged him under the water and made sure he stayed there. There was no way this was his doing. But why did it feel just like something dad would do? He would have been stoked to destroy every bit of light Ward had in his life and dad might have planned it earlier, not realizing he would be dead when it came to fruition. Why would he target her though, when Ward himself didn't know what his deal was with her. That made no sense.

But... if there was even the slightest chance that there was a contract on Lumi's head, he would have to keep her close. It was too dangerous for her to be out there alone. Besides, he couldn't shut down the false sensation that he was somehow responsible for what had happened. Giving her a place to recuperate in peace was the least he could do for her.

He finally caught one of the paramedics and was told that Lumi would have to be monitored for 4-6 hours in the ED. The ambulance was leaving soon.

”After you're released you are coming to stay with me, ” Ward stated as it had already been decided. He felt it was safe enough for her to stay in his apartment, even if the place was bugged. His father had to be dead and wasn't going to monitor him beyond the grave. Kyle might come to work though, so he would have to at some point go and make sure all the video feeds were turned off.

The creases appearing on Lumi's forehead told him his idea was not mutually accepted. He tried to reason with her. ”There's plenty of room and a guest bedroom where you can stay in. Or did you have plans on staying somewhere else?”

Lumi lifted her mask again and protested, but only feebly. ”I'm going to cough all night, you'll get no sleep.”

Ward could sense she had no fight left in her. ”I'm not so big on sleep these days.”

The paramedics were preparing the ambulance for departure, and he requested to ride along. He was allowed to do that, and whether it was because of his status as a 'fiancé” or something else, he didn't care.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Ward observed Lumi as she took in his apartment. She was wearing the striped pajamas she had on when she escaped the fire and left a slight scent of smoke everywhere she went. Under her left arm, she squeezed the box she had saved from her apartment.

The hospital had been an ordeal for Ward. He hadn't remembered how much waiting was involved in everything; waiting for doctors, waiting for blood tests, waiting for results, waiting for release. He was painfully reminded of his father's last months in the cancer care unit. The blue curtains around Lumi's hospital bed had started oozing blood when they were waiting for the results of the blood tests, and he'd had to rush outside, to the cemented courtyard to breathe. And swallow a few tablets while he was outside Lumi's gaze. She hadn't said anything when he'd returned, but the look she gave him was filled with concern.

However, the way Lumi was now looking at the high ceilings, glass walls and the sparse steel and black decor was deliberately blank. Ward had an obscure feeling he should explain himself, make her understand why his place was so spartan. ”I don't spend much time here.”

Lumi gave him a quick smile. ”It's very 'Architectural Digest'.”

”So they told me,” Ward replied in all seriousness (in fact, his residence had indeed been a subject of a feature or two in the aforementioned publication) and moved on to the kitchen area, carrying grocery bags. He'd had to make a quick stop at the store since his kitchen cabinets usually were equipped with a whole lot of nothing. Lumi had waited in the car, in her pajamas, getting used to the inhaler she'd been prescribed. Ward had suggested they'd also stop to buy some clothes, but Lumi hadn't felt up to the challenge. All she wanted was a shower and a bed that wasn't on fire, she'd wearily declared.

He led her to sit beside the giant stainless steel kitchen island, unpacking the croissants and the savory fillings from the bags to the black granite top. He handed a pleasantly surprised Lumi a bright pink toothbrush, a tube of toothpaste and a plastic comb from the bag. The rest he arranged into neat rows inside the nearest, almost empty cabinets and into the fridge. His fingers left stains on the stainless steel cabinet doors, which made him frown.

Lumi was already gobbling down a croissant, filled to the brim with lettuce, ham, and cheese when Ward told her he would go looking for some clothes she could use. She froze and then tried to swallow, as fast as possible, the chunk of food she had in her mouth.

”I don't think any of your clothes will fit me.”

Ward wasn't an expert on women's clothing sizes but he was sure he could find something. ”I'll bring you some options. Your job,” he stated emphatically, ”is to make sure you eat properly.”

He checked his messages while he was rummaging through his meticulously organized wardrobe. Joy had left more messages, urging him to call her. Irritated, he stuffed the phone into his pocket and completed his search. He was quite pleased with himself, carrying a pile of clothing to the kitchen island. Based on the number of croissants left in the bag, Lumi was on her third one. Not that he was counting, but he was pleased to see she ate well enough.

She glanced at the clothes suspiciously, then frowned and pulled out a pair of trousers. Striped Skidz pants in red, white and blue. She spread them out in front of her.

”Were you even born yet when these were in fashion?” she blurted, suddenly elated.

Ward glared at her. ”If you want me to put them on, all you have do is ask and I'm going to say no.”

Lumi resorted to her inhaler like it was a lifeline. A few barks still escaped, but she was able to collect herself admirably. She gathered the box, toiletries, clothes and the inhaler in her arms and waited for Ward to show her the way to the shower.

 

\---

 

The steaming water pounding my scalp with hundreds of tiny streams felt heavenly. The water was a bit too hot, so I stood there, arms loosely crossed in front of my chest, and let my body get used to the warmth. Ward's shower was as pristine as the rest of his apartment: not one hard water stain anywhere. He must have had an excellent cleaning crew.

I could feel my muscles (which I didn't even know had cramped) starting to ease, and craned my neck to let the flow reach all the tender spots around my neck. The water pressure was just right: not too strong, but solid enough to have an effect on my tendons.

The filth loosening from my body didn't show on the black floor tiles, which I was grateful for. I didn't need to be reminded of how I must have looked like. The refined shower gel bottle replicated the feel of the whole apartment. Bottega Veneta, it said in an elegant font. I had never heard of the label. I opened the lid and smelled the contents carefully. The scent reminded me of the forests of my childhood, with a hint of citrus and leather. I guess I could smell worse. Like ashes and misery.

The towel Ward had left me was huge and white as the first snow. I was embarrassed to notice that I still hadn't gotten rid of all the residue in my hair, but had left dark stains on the fabric. Well, his excellent cleaning crew could probably handle a little dirt.

The eyes that stared back at me from the mirror were red and swollen. Not a pleasant sight at all. My skin felt a bit tender like I'd spend too much time in the sun, but I didn't dare to look if Ward had any skin moisturizers. I would buy some tomorrow. The comb wasn't ideal, but it did the job and I was grateful for that.

I approached the stack of clothes dubiously. I'd had to wear the same panties of course, and had no bra, which was going to be a bit uncomfortable. Something else I'd had to purchase as soon as possible. A dark blue t-shirt with 'Wharton, University of Pennsylvania' in big white letters in front called out to me, and fit well enough. The trousers were just as bad as I had thought. I couldn't lift even the widest sweatpants more than halfway up my thighs. All that was left were the Skidz.

Strolling along the corridor in my new ensemble (at least it was color coded) towards the living room, I carried the rejected pieces of clothing and my worldly possessions in my arms. Ward stood, hands on his hips, in the middle of the floor, staring alternately at all four corners of the impossibly high ceiling. The setting sun painted his lean outline with a golden halo. He noticed me standing there, took the discarded items from me and promised to put my pajamas into the washer. I appreciated the gesture even if it might not do them any good. They were, in any case, the only item I had left from my previous life, and Ward seemed to understand my need to cling to them.

”Will you be alright here? There's something I need to take care of. I won't be long,” Ward inquired, a concerned frown on his forehead.

”Go, go! I'm going to sleep anyway, so please feel free to do whatever it is you usually do. I'm sorry I have kept you from... anything.” I felt abashed that he'd had to leave his duties to chaperone me. He replied with some reassuring nonchalance and showed me my room.

Clean lines dominated the gray and black space. I didn't mind since the bed looked like a piece of heaven in the middle of an ashen, concrete urbanscape. White, fluffy and spacious enough for at least three. I could hear it calling out to me, ready to enclose me into its soft, warm embrace.

Ward cautioned me of not opening the door to anyone, which I wouldn't have done anyway, bid me goodnight and left to do whatever it was he needed to do. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep laying down so I gathered all the pillows against the headboard. I slithered under the blanket, leaned against the pillows, placed the inhaler and the box beside me and dug out my phone from the box. There was only 10 % left of the battery. Jenny had left multiple messages and calls, offering me a place to stay and asking how I was doing. It was anguishing to remember she had lost her flower shop in the fire. Because of me. But I didn't have the strength to try and find a charger and engage into an emotional discourse. So I texted her, telling her that I was ok, staying with a friend and happy to take her on with the offer of accommodation. I would call her tomorrow and arrange things.

Feeling worn out and exhausted to the core, I expected to fall asleep immediately. However, images of the fire, Hood and the hospital started circulating in my head and sleep eluded me. I didn't know what Hood's real name was. Why did I never ask? It would have only taken one question. And now Jenny's livelihood was also in danger. How could I ever repay what I'd done to her? What if the firefighters hadn't arrived in time? I would have died in that fire. And would I ever be able to rebuild my cafe with the insurance money? Was Jenny?

Despite the whirlwind storming through my mind, the comfortable pillows and featherlight cover eventually lulled me into a restless, nightmare-filled slumber.

  
\---

  
With a racing heart, Ward left his father's penthouse. His ears buzzed, cold sweat started oozing from his forehead and his fingers felt numb as he pressed the elevator button to get to the street level. Dad was alive, again. How was that possible? Was he immortal now? He tried to keep his breathing steady, to calm himself so he could think. He leaned against the cold elevator wall and pressed the back of his head against it. He squeezed his eyelids shut so hard he saw bursts of light. Joy was in danger. Lumi was in danger. He'd had to find some solution that would keep everyone safe. But first he'd had to move Lumi somewhere that was out or his father's reach.

As soon as he stepped out of the elevator in his own apartment building he saw the door to his place was ajar. He paused for a second, then sneaked to the door and listened. The dark hallway was empty and quiet.

Had he left the door open? He couldn't remember locking it, it was such an automatic thing to do. Holding his breath, he turned on the hallway lights. Oppressive silence hung in the air, as he proceeded through the flat to the guest bedroom. He whispered Lumi's name before turning on the lights. The pillows were scattered around the bed, the cover was halfway on the floor and her precious box was open, the contents dispersed throughout the bed. Her inhaler laid forgotten, on top of one of the papers. He called out to her, hoping against hope that she'd just stepped out to the bathroom.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. With a sense of dread, he opened a video call from his least favorite undead relative.

”Ward,” Harold almost hummed. ”You left so abruptly, I forgot to tell you I invited a friend to dinner.” He turned the screen toward the large table standing on the raised podium in front of the huge windows. Lumi was sitting at the end of the table in her ridiculous borrowed outfit, hair sticking out in every direction. She held her back upright, hands resting on her lap and kept a carefully crafted blank impression on her face. There were several plates set around the table. The image shifted abruptly back to smirking Harold. ”Would you care to join us?”

 


	11. Chapter 11

”Ward!” Harold chimed as soon as he saw Ward stepping out of the elevator. ”So glad you could join us!” He lifted his arms as if anticipating a warm embrace. Ward needed all of his self-control to appear cool and collected. Ears pounding the beat of his heart, he marched past Harold, ignored the two goons (he briefly wondered if these were new men sent by the Hand or if dad had started to hire help by himself?) standing in front of the windows, and loped up the steps towards the table.

”You okay?” he asked, grabbing Lumi by her arm. She nodded, expressionless. He'd never seen her eyes so void of any emotions. Se looked like a stranger, Ward realized, bile rising up his throat.

”We're leaving,” he stated and pulled Lumi up from the chair. She winced a little at the pressure on her arm and he immediately withdrew his grip. ”Are you hurt?”

She looked at him, clearly trying to level her breath. ”I'm fine.” Her voice was just as blank as her gaze as she rubbed the sore spot with her palm.

”Ward, you are being rude to my guest.” Harold approached them both. ”You've taken such a shine to her that I wanted to meet her too.” He spoke in reassuring, gentle tones, like trying to calm frightened animals. ”You can't blame me, can you?”

Ward's tone was anything but gentle. ”Dad, get out of my way.”

Harold's smile was sheepish and innocent. ”Ward, why are you like this?”

”Don't bullshit me! I know why you're doing this.” Ward snapped. He could feel his mental armor cracking. Contempt was oozing out, even if he knew her chances were better if he just kept himself level-headed.

Harold looked at him like he was a stubborn child and nodded his head towards the cluster of armchairs. ”Can I talk to you for a second?”

He smiled at Lumi and gestured her to sit. Ward was satisfied to see she remained standing.

Harold's face shifted to imitate severity as they reached the bottom of the stairs. ”Now, I know I said you should have an affair but Ward please...her? I know you can do better,” he lectured, deliberately loud enough for Lumi to be able to hear them. ”I only want what's best for you, you know that. Think about the children.” His almost genuine smile might have fooled someone else, but not Ward.

”What childr...”

”We are talking about my grandchildren here.” He lifted his arm around Ward's shoulders like they were going to share a common secret. ”The fire was a tragic accident of course, ” he stretched the corners of his mouth downward, ” but that's no reason to start any white knight nonsense.” He leaned closer and whispered, ”Now, you said you wanted to leave. But this is what will always happen if you decide to do that.” He squeezed Wards shoulder and smiled. ” I know you'll do the right thing.”

\---

This was surreal. Was I awake or still asleep in Ward's guest bedroom, or perhaps in my own bed and all of this was just a long, exhausting nightmare?

It was common knowledge now that aliens were real and people with enhanced abilities existed, but no-one came back from the dead, did they? Because just a moment ago Harold Meachum had shaken my hand and his grip had been warm and firm. Dead people didn't shake hands. Or invite people to dinner by kidnapping them in the middle of the night. His death might have been some kind of corporate insurance scam though, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out how that would benefit anyone.

First I'd thought he was just some confused individual, an enemy of Rand Enterprises trying to blackmail Ward by kidnapping me. Why me? And why impersonate as Ward's father?

Now though, the way Ward acted around him and spoke to him, convinced me that this was indeed Harold, or at least Ward believed it was him. Harold seemed to have lost his grip on reality and rambled on things that didn't make any sense. Maybe that was it. Maybe he'd been isolated here and his death had been staged in order to save the family from some sort of embarrassment. Why would anyone go to such extremes though? Why didn't they just provide him the help he needed? Nothing made sense.

I was convinced that if I could just figure out what was going on, I'd be able to cope with the terrifying experiences I'd endured in the past few days. First the fire, then staying at the hospital and police questioning me about what had happened, and finally the unspeakable terror of being torn from my bed in the middle of the night by strange men.

I saw and heard everything that was going on around me but felt like this was happening to someone else. Someone else was standing here and watching Ward and his father talk. Someone else whose life had suddenly turned from safely predictable to dangerously unstable. I briefly entertained the idea that it was I who's reality needed to be reassessed, then let it go because if that was the case, there was nothing I could do about it. But I could feel my emotions lurking in the shadowy corners of my consciousness, and I tried to force them to stay there. I couldn't afford to be a bawling wreck, not until I was somewhere safe.

”C'mon, we're leaving,” Ward stated, standing in front of the steps and extending his hand to me. Harold smiled smugly by the armchairs, clearly pleased with himself. The guards by the window stood silent and still. I moved cautiously towards Ward, expecting someone to stop me at any second. No-one did.

Ward put his hand behind my back and guided me briskly to the elevator. Once we were inside, he lowered his hand and stared impatiently at the doors, as if willing them to close faster.

”I'm sorry,” he mumbled, once the doors were safely shut. ”I'm sorry I got you involved in this.”

I felt how a tiny bit of white hot rage escaped from the confinement I had forced my emotions into. ”And what exactly is 'this'?”

Ward glanced at me briefly, surprised by my tone. The doors slid open and he ushered me down the stairs towards the public elevators. The sudden exercise strained my lungs and I started coughing. Ward stopped to pull my inhaler out of his pocket. I couldn't believe he'd remembered to pick it up.

He steered me silently to his car and I could barely restrain myself from grilling him about what had just happened. His car accelerated dangerously as he joined the traffic, his jawline strained and knuckles white.

”You need to leave.”

I felt almost nauseous. I had arranged to stay with Jenny, but the bluntness of his statement still hurt. ”I was planning on going to Jenny's anyw...”

”No, you need to leave New York. Or the country. You're not safe here.” His tone was anxious and urgent, and I was afraid he'd crash his car if he stared at me any longer.

I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying since the way he was driving made me uneasy. ”What?”

”They are going to come after you now. You've seen Harold without Hand's approval.”

I still couldn't understand what he was trying to say. I had to grab the door handle to stay in my seat as Ward weaved past other cars.

”What are you...? Would you just stop the car and tell me what the hell is going on?”

\---

Ward didn't want to stop. He wanted to continue driving, away from Harold, away from New York, away from everything wrong in his life. Only he couldn't. Dad had threatened to bring in Joy if he left, so he had to find a permanent solution to his Harold-sized-problem.

The dilemma at hand was how much he could or should share with Lumi. She was already in danger, but if he told the truth, she might decide not to believe him and stay. That was not an option. So he decided to go for half-truths. Parking the car, he inhaled deeply and turned towards her.

”Harold got mixed up with a dangerous... crime syndicate called the Hand. He is alive because of them. But the Hand insists his... condition is kept in absolute secrecy, and they don't hesitate to get rid of anyone who finds out.”

Lumi stared at him through squinted eyes, lips in a thin line. At least she didn't look like a blank slate anymore. ”Are you part of this Hand?”

”No! I didn't choose to be a part of any of this. After his... death, dad picked me over Joy to be his pawn inside the company. Joy doesn't even know dad's... alive.” Alive and dead seemed to have obscure definitions these days.

Lumi frowned and kept silent for a while, thinking. ”What does the Hand get out of this arrangement?”

Ward could have engaged in a lengthy explanation on how a company like Rand Enterprises had extended their reach to so many areas that it was impossible to tell what exactly was done to benefit the Hand. And frankly, he hadn't cared for a long time. ”I don't ask. Not anymore.”

He could see Lumi was trying to make sense of what he was telling her.

”And you don't want to get the police involved because you're afraid for Joy's and your dad's life?”

”I can't let anything happen to Joy,” Ward replied, desperation creeping into his voice.

Lumi clearly wanted to say something but was struggling either with words or the subject. ”Harold is the reason you're on pain meds,” she stated finally. It wasn't a question.

Ward couldn't decipher the mixture of feelings that reflected from her eyes. Was it pity? Bewilderment? Horror? Rage? Whatever it was, it was too much. Ward turned to face the windshield and squeezed the steering wheel. ”I promise I'll take care of this. But in the meantime, you need to go as far away from here as possible.”

Lumi sighed in frustration. ”I can't leave. I need to rebuild...”

Ward interrupted her. ”I'll buy the property from you. I've bought real estate with far less knowledge than this.” He realized he didn't exactly have the money or the power to buy anything at the moment, but she didn't need to know that. He would figure everything out later. ”I'll contact my lawyers in the morning and have them send you the papers. But you need to get away from here on the next possible flight.”

\---

”Here, is this enough?” Ward shoved his phone towards me, showing a figure well over the price I'd paid a few years ago. The amount sent a tingle down my spine, but at the same time my heart shriveled into tiny crumbs. ”Wow, you really want to get rid of me.”

I was so exhausted. I didn't want to deal with any of this anymore. I had a feeling I hadn't asked the right questions and was missing some important information. With all that had happened, I couldn't even think straight anymore. I missed mom. I hadn't taken a vacation in two years and nothing was likely going to happen with the cafe before the insurance claims were settled. And Ward had made it clear he didn't want me anywhere near him. ”I'll go see my mom. In Finland. Is that far enough for you?” Once I was home, I'd have time to think about what I needed to do next.

He exhaled and let his posture unwind a little. ”Perfect. Now let's get you and your things to your friend's house. You'll need to book a flight as soon as you're there.”

Jenny and her husband were sleeping when I called her. She welcomed me with open arms and didn't ask any questions, but glanced at Ward suspiciously when he handed me my phone and my precious box. The last thing he said to me was that it was safer if he didn't know where I was going.

As I watched his tail lights disappear into the distance, I couldn't help but wonder if this was the most elaborate scam in the history of scams to acquire my real estate. Then Jenny wrapped her arms around me and led me and my earthly possessions inside the comforting warmth of her home.

\---

Ward felt a small part of the immeasurable weight he'd been carrying around lift as he sped back towards Midtown Manhattan. He had a plan, but he needed more information, and there was only one person he could think of that might have the answers he needed. His eyes burned and the road ahead swiveled and blurred in front of him. He adjusted the blast from the car's air vents to be as cold as possible.

He hadn't slept in days but there were things he had to do that required a bright mind and a sound body. He checked that the tiny white package Danny had so nonchalantly thrown on his desk was still with him. He might need the extra boost when facing the head of the Triad. There was something he needed to finish. And this time it would be for good.

 


	12. Chapter 12

The comforting pressure of the hammock's fabric surrounded me completely. A glass of cold dry cider, accompanied by my phone, waited patiently on top of the turquoise kitchen chair I'd placed next to me on the grass. The hammock was hung between two old cherry trees which buzzed with life. Fluffy bumblebees and hardworking bees bustled about minding their own businesses, while butterflies fluttered aimlessly without a care in the world. I had carefully wrapped myself in a fleece blanket, in case the strenuous labor of relaxing and reading proved too exhausting and I'd need a well-earned nap. The rays of sun that penetrated the leafy canopy overhead created warm spots where they hit the worn out cloth.

I was in the middle of James S.A. Corey's novella The Churn, which I had downloaded into my outdated Kindle. It was a wonder the ancient device still functioned. It had been several years since I had last used it (it had been gathering dust in my mother's bookcase), but with some recharging and software updates, it worked like a charm. Amos, my favorite character from The Expanse -series was trying to survive in horrible conditions on earth, and in my head, I was the only one whose soul would be able to touch his in a profound way, and ignite something bigger than words could describe. Why did I always have a thing for slightly damaged, somewhat dangerous imaginary men?

I heard a car approach on the driveway, tires rustling on the gravel, and dug myself deeper into the hammock. I desperately needed the alone time to prepare myself for the afternoon's wedding. A good friend of mine was getting married and I had to present myself as a normal, well-functioning human being, especially since I had isolated myself from most people during my recovery.

I tried to ignore the bang of the car door, the low murmur of voices from the front door where my mother greeted the guest, and then the dreaded footsteps approaching my hideout. Whoever it was had better have a damn good reason to disturb me. I stared stubbornly at my Kindle but was too annoyed to actually understand the sentences.

”Lumi, you have a guest,” my mother said, in a strange, tight voice. And why was she speaking in English?

Finally laying down the Kindle, I grabbed the edge of the hammock and peeked over it, ready to have the briefest possible exchange of words imaginable. And then I couldn't think of anything at all. Ward was standing there, in a suit, one hand holding the other in front of him, not a hair out of place. He flexed his jaw muscles and forced a little smile. ”Hi.”

My mother looked from him to me, as if in a tennis match. She asked in Finnish if I was going to be okay, and I could only nod. It didn't take a genius to figure out that he was part of the reason I'd been such a mess until recently. I could see she didn't want to leave us alone, but I finally found my voice again and assured her I was fine. She left, casting suspicious glances towards Ward.

There is no easy or graceful way of getting out of a hammock in a skimpy summer dress. I scrambled over the edge, hoping I didn't flash anything I wasn't supposed to. While I tried to tactfully adjust the dress to its proper place, my brain, on the other hand, tried to adapt itself to this new, weird reality of Ward standing in our lush garden half way across the world from where he was supposed to be.

”What are you doing here?” I asked, a little out of breath, either from the effort to free myself from the hammock or the surprise of seeing him. Or both. My heart was thumping on overdrive and I hoped it was from dread and not from excitement. 

 

\---

 

Ward was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable, standing there in his full business attire. It was hotter than he'd imagined while driving the air-conditioned rental car, and he could feel beads of sweat dribble down his back under his suit jacket. He hadn't wanted to change his clothes, since he needed some extra armor to withdraw himself into, just in case the reunion with Lumi didn't go as planned. He didn't exactly know what he wanted to achieve by coming here, but he'd convinced himself that he couldn't fully move on with his life unless he knew that she was okay with... everything.

”I had a business meeting in China,” he said absentmindedly, unable to elaborate while he watched her wiggle the almost see-through summer dress into its correct place. He'd lost his train of thought the minute Lumi had peeked, like an annoyed cat, over the edge of the cocooned fabric.

”Aah, China. It's so conveniently close.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest and squinted upwards at Ward. She stood there, bare-footed, claiming the ground she stood on, and Ward resisted the urge to take a few steps back. This determined person resembled very little the fragile creature he'd remembered or imagined.

”Is there somewhere we can talk?”

He was desperate to get the conversation back on the track he'd been playing on his mind since the moment Rand Enterprises' private plane had landed at Helsinki Airport.

She picked up her phone and led him deeper into the garden, caressing crude tree trunks and delicate blossoms with her fingertips as she ducked under branches and navigated between flowerbeds. Ward followed, loosening his tie and trying not to get muck on his shoes. Surrounded by flourishing lilac bushes stood a wooden garden swing unlike he had ever seen. Instead of one seat, there were two, facing each other. The two seats were joined together with a floor element, which wavered unsteadily under his foot, and he had to grip a support beam. Lumi sat on the opposite bench, lifting her feet on his bench next to him, taking care that she did not touch him, and then crossing them from the ankle. She concentrated on the hem of her dress, arranging it to perfection. Her toenails sparkled light blue, which Ward found to be an interesting choice in nail polish.

He took off his jacket and folded it neatly to the armrest, just to get a few more seconds to think.

”Does your mother,” he nodded towards the house, ”know... everything?”

”Yes.” Lumi stared at him, hands folded in her lap, challenging him to give some kind of reaction to what she was saying. He'd played this game so many times before, it was second nature for him to remain neutral.

”She doesn't seem to think too highly of me.”

She took a breath as starting to say something. Then another. She carefully pulled her legs from his seat and folded them next to her, staring at the hem of her dress as she aligned it to cover her legs again. ”She did have to watch me go through some pretty hard times after I came home. So I don't blame her for being suspicious.”

It hadn't even crossed Ward's mind that Lumi might have faced difficulties after going home. Sending her to safety was all he had thought about at the time. The consequences to her emotional state had never crossed his mind, though he had been worried if her perception of him had somehow changed. And here he was, thinking he was on his way to becoming a better person.

He tried to catch Lumi's eye, but she was stubbornly fixated on the hem of her dress. The words felt heavy on his tongue. How many times had he said the exact same sentence to his sister, and she'd still left.

”I'm sorry.”

She reciprocated with an icy stare, her whole body freezing in place. ”It's been months. I haven't heard anything from you, or your lawyer. I still have no idea what actually happened. Apart from what the police told me, that is. I'm starting to think it was some kind of sick joke.” There was a steely edge to her voice, betrayed by the crack in the last word.

Ward tried to keep his voice steady. This was worse than he could have imagined. ”Don't even say that.”

Lumi's mouth set in a hard line. ”So I ask again. Why are you here?”

 

\---

 

I thought I'd freed myself from the anger, but here it was again, rummaging through me like a fiery tsunami. I tried to smother it by concentrating on my breath, taking deep breaths in and out in a steady rhythm. I realized Ward had been talking for a while.

”...the explosion at our office. Industrial sabotage, the police said, some kind of new... air pressure grenade. Dad was there, and didn't make it.” His eyes glistened and he averted his gaze, swallowing a few times. ”So you're safe. You can come home now.”

I couldn't tell where 'home' was these days. Jenny's husband had taken care of overseeing the demolition and rebuilding of the cafe, sending me weekly reports to my email. It was progressing well, although not quite finished. Jenny's business space had changed owners and was also still under reconstruction, but she'd managed to renew the lease with the new owner. I knew I couldn't stay at my mother's forever. I wanted to scream at him for leaving me hanging. But that might not have been fair. ”Have you known where I was this whole time?”

The corner of his mouth lifted into a joyless grin. ”No, the PI I hired found out where you were a month ago and I wanted to make sure you...”

”Wait. A month ago? So you're telling me I could have stopped waking up in the middle of the night, thinking every creak of the floor is a murderer, a month ago?” I could feel my throat starting to tighten. My voice was about to crack again, and I couldn't let that happen. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing until I felt confident I could control it again. ”What? Did you break both of your thumbs so you couldn't text? The postal officers were on strike? What?”

He stared at me, wide-eyed as if it was such a surprise this was so hard for me.

”I'm sorry. I didn't... I didn't think...”

”You know what has actually been the worst part of this? Not that I lost my livelihood or everything I owned. It was the uncertainty. Not knowing if there was really someone after me, or if you'd just played me, or if it was ever safe enough to come back.”

He ran his hand through his meticulously arranged hair, loosening a strand or two in the process, lips pressed into a thin line. ”I thought I had everything under control, but I was wrong. After I left you at your friend's house, ” he placed his hands on his knees, tendons tightened on the back of his hands, and let out a resigned sigh, ”I got arrested and sent to rehab. I couldn't contact you or my lawyer for several days. After I got out, you had already left.”

He grimaced, stretching his neck. ”With Joy gone, Danny god knows where and dad dead, there was so much work to do. So I buried myself in it, knowing... thinking... you were safe wherever you were.”

”Well, I didn't feel safe.” I could feel my lower lip starting to tremble. Great. The worse thing that could happen now was me bursting into tears like a baby. Then I finally heard what he was saying. ”Wait, your dad is really dead? ”

”Yes.” The look he gave me brought to the surface a chunk of sympathy I didn't expect to have in me. I could see he was struggling to maintain his composure, but his eyes were glossy and a muscle in his jaw twitched. However horrible Harold had been, he had still been Ward's father.

”I'm sorry.”

I tried to push the unwanted emotion back to where it came from. After all, I had every right to be angry.

He took a deep breath, straightened his spine and blinked the moisture out of his eyes. ”It was about time.”

 


	13. Chapter 13

Keeping secrets made Ward feel anxious, but even the idea of Lumi looking at him horrified and disgusted if he'd told her the truth about Harold's deaths, made him shut that door with a sturdy latch. There were some things she simply didn't need to know. The things she did need to know, however, made Ward dry his palms on his knees and hold his breath before speaking. The sun had hidden beneath a cloud as gray as his suit and he shivered as a cool breeze rushed past them.

”The fire... That was my father's doing.” He had to stop to swallow. ”I'm sorry I got you mixed up in all of that.”

Something cold and wet splashed on the back of his hand. He wiped it off, irritated, staring at Lumi and trying to analyze her body language. He couldn't get much out of the stillness of her figure. ”I'm still willing to honor our deal if that's what you want.” He yearned for a reaction, any kind of reaction.

She had wrapped her arms tightly around her. ”Don't you think it's a little late for that? ”

Every new drop of water made her body startle a bit. She looked up at the cloud barreling through the blue sky when one of the drops landed right on her eye. ”Helvetinperkele!”

That sounded to Ward like a delightfully colorful curse, which he was sure it was. She stood up, rubbing her eye with a base of her hand and leaped out of the swing. Ward tried to follow, grabbing his jacket from the armrest as he rose, but almost fell as the floor swayed under him. There were several droplets hitting him coldly on his neck and back and then like a faucet had opened, he was drenched in the outpour of water. He heard Lumi shouting something at him over the roar of the rain and followed her through the silvery curtain of water.

She led him to a dark wooden cottage, which stood near the shore of a small lake, or maybe a large pond. It was hard to tell since the downpour blocked the view to the other shore. The water looked like it was boiling from the rainfall that hit its surface. They charged inside and Ward stopped, out of breath, to inspect the damage the rain had done to his shoes and suit. He tried to rinse most of the water out of his suit jacket by shaking it lightly.

”That was fun!” he heard Lumi exclaim and turned to look at her. She was soaking wet; bare feet sprinkled with fragments of cut grass, the summer dress hugging her figure like a second skin and strands of drenched hair plastered around her face. Ward felt like an intruder, just looking at her, but she was grinning wildly, eyes dark and intense. ”I haven't run in the rain like that since I was a child!”

Ward struggled to find words that would not sound like total gibberish. She swung towards the windows, sending beads of water all around her, and placed her hand on the cool glass. One lonely droplet glided from behind her ear towards her neck, joining with others on its way and continued its slow decent along her heaving back, down the spine, until it dived under the upper part of her dress. Ward tried not to imagine where it went from there.

”That came out of nowhere, ” he finally managed to say.

Lumi continued to stare out of the window, her breath steaming the window, while she tapped the glass with her index finger. ”We're lucky it wasn't a hailstorm.”

Ward chuckled but she was serious when she turned towards Ward. ”We have a saying here... 'The Finnish summer is really nice. Last year it was on a Thursday.'”

 

\---

 

I'd had to pretend to look out the window when he'd turned to face me. Running through the rain, a cliché I never thought would actually happen to me, was not the only reason my heart was thumping furiously inside my chest. I'd had to give myself a few minutes to breathe and level my expression. And think. I tried to conjure up the anger I'd felt towards him only a few minutes ago. Anger was easier. Way easier than this mixture of whatever the hell it was. I knew it made me blush. I could already feel my blood veins shouting freedom from the top of their lungs and emerge triumphantly with the dreaded cold/hot sweated tingle down my neck and up to my cheeks. The chilly and damp dress did nothing to alleviate the surface temperature of my skin.

Weather. Weather and jokes. I might be able to distract myself with those two if I didn't look too closely at him.

”What?” He smiled, his adorable crooked smile, forehead creased, chest rising and falling with rapid breaths under the wet shirt that clung to his toned figure. I could almost see the water droplets vaporizing from the heat of his body. Yep. This was going splendidly indeed.

Shit. Shitshitshit. My heart continued to think it was in the Daytona 500, and the shivers might have been caused by the rain, or something else. I was usually too timid to jump into just anyone's bed or allow anyone jump into mine, and the few times I'd tried to be that spontaneous had resulted in a disaster. But Ward wasn't a stranger, and technically we were almost friends, right? It was just that anything resembling a physical connection had happened so long ago I didn't even remember it.

Who was I kidding, of course I did. It was that IT-dude at my father's company I'd tried to forget ever since. He'd had more issues than I'd had books about conquering space.

Sometimes you just had to take matters into your own two clumsy, don't-know-where-to-go-and-what-to-do, hands. That's how I'd gotten into my quest of ridding myself of my virginity in the ripe age of 24. Decide, plan, acquire a target, strike and execute. A few minutes of inconvenience later, objective fulfilled, exit the premises and rejoice in the achieved outcome. I never heard of him after that, and I sometimes wondered why.

Now I was just stalling. This man in front of me wouldn't get any hotter, or more present, we couldn't be anywhere more private and our countless unresolved issues could certainly wait a few minutes... or ten. If I didn't act now, he might leave and I would never have this chance again. Thank god I'd had to shave and trim for the wedding.

”What?”He asked again, smiling wider but eyes slightly enlarged. His jacket hung forgotten in his hand.

In my mind's eye, I glided ethereally across the distance that separated us. Only that I didn't exactly glide since the rain made my legs sticky, and the hem of the dress had determined to trip me, clutching its fabric onto my legs.

I managed to maneuver close enough to feel the heat emanating from his body. I didn't touch, but if I'd leaned forward, my nose would have brushed his front placket. I forced my gaze up, heartbeat drumming in my ears, following the trail from his upper shirt button to the tendons on his throat, up the jawline to his mouth. All signs of the previous smile had disappeared. I could feel my resolve falter. But I was already here. I could at least see how far this would go.

He was staring at me wide-eyed, holding his breath. He formed the same question with his lips he'd already asked twice, but this time there was no sound. Just a gentle, escaping breath of air.

I'm the first to admit that I'm probably the worst person on earth to seduce anyone. I have no idea what my hands are supposed to do and when, and what I'm supposed to say. So I decided to play to my strengths and just admit it.

”I have no idea what I'm doing,” I whispered in the general direction of his right ear. I saw goose bumps emerge on his cheek.

”That came out of nowhere,” he murmured and cleared his throat, slightly out of breath and the first word rising in a minor falsetto.

I had no more words of wisdom left to share, so I decided it was his turn to make the next move. He would either take a step back or not. And if not, well, that would be interesting.

 

\---  
  


 

She was there, right there. He could smell the piny scent of whatever shampoo she was now using linger in the air after she'd stretched to whisper in his ear. The whisper had had a peculiar effect on him, a tidal wave of goose bumps going through his whole body. It had left him a bit dizzy. Or maybe it had had more to do with the fact that he'd forgotten to breathe when Lumi had suddenly emerged in front of him.

The sudden change in the mood left Ward puzzled. ”Aren't you mad at me?”

”I was,” Lumi admitted. She tilted her head and focused on Wards lips. ”I let it go. I reserve the right to be mad at you later.” The corner of her mouth quirked up and she lifted her smiling eyes to meet Wards. And then the eyes were serious again. ”Do you want me to step back?”

Did she want cuddles? Kisses? Sex? Not that he hadn't thought about it, fantasized even, during the long lonely days and nights after dad's death and Joy's departure, but this was a bit sudden. How could she want him, after every horrible thing he'd brought to her life? Did he even have condoms with him? Yes! He had one in his wallet. What was he thinking? He didn't know if she was even thinking of going that far.

”Okay...” Lumi lowered her eyes and took a step back.

”No! No.” Ward reached for her with his right hand, noticed he was still holding his soaking jacket and dropped it on the floor. Her sudden departure left the space she'd occupied hollow and cold. He wanted to feel the warmth again. ”I want...” He stepped forward into her space.

His placed his fingers cautiously on Lumi's shoulder, paused, waiting for her to flinch, and when she didn't, continued exploring the path to her neck, drawing wet lines into the damp surface. He wanted to taste the saltiness of her skin but was afraid to do so. Maybe later. They were both breathing heavily, the static palpable in the negative space between them. His fingertips traveled slowly up the side of her neck and delight filled him when he saw a shiver go through her. He let his thumb glide over her jawline and rest near her temple. He was fascinated by the infinite enigma of her eyes, lashes still laced with lingering water drops.

For a few breaths, they ceased, lips not quite touching, inhaling each other's scent. The sound of the rain drowned under the thrum of his own heart. Ward tasted her lips, caressing the cool, soft skin carefully. She drew him closer grabbing a handful of his cold, wet shirt and led the kiss into deeper waters.

The mixture of her cool lips and warm tongue was intoxicating. Ward briefly wondered why people, himself included, were always so afraid of starting something like this with a new person. There was nothing more exquisite than this moment: the invitation, the insinuation, the promise.

 


End file.
